- You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.

- Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

- You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.

- You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

- Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

- Your income tax refund check bounces.

- It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.

- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

- You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

- Your blind date turns out to be your ex

-wife/husband.

- You put both contacts into the same eye.

- Your mother approves of the person you're dating.

- Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.

- You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard.

- Nothing you own is actually paid for.

- Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you think it looks awful.

- The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.

- You invite the peeping Tom in... and he says no.

- The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.

- People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.

- When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your age.

- You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out onight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.

- You start to put on the clothes that you wore home from the Party last night... and there aren't any.