Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.
Constant change is here to stay
CAUTION: I drive like you do.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer!
I'm the guy your parents warned you about.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I'm not a complete Idiot, some parts are missing.
Couldn't afford to fix my brakes, so I made my horn louder.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Too close for missiles: Switching to guns.
Don't read while you drive, you'll crash.
No radio, already stolen.
I brake for Tail-gaters.
I may be slow but at least I'm ahead of you!
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery
Me a skeptic? I hope you have proof.
Those who can, do. Those who can't hire others to.
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!
Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
My other mode of transportation is a broom.... I really thought it would make a great gift for my ex mother in law .
Hang up the Phone and Drive the Car
Life is short. Don't be a dick.
If you're rich, I'm single.
If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk!
You! Out of the gene pool!
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Born free... taxed to death.
I'm only driving this way to piss you off.