Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou art not
transparent.
Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting
down.
Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.
Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy
house.
Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not
meat.
Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.
