9. You want to get into the guinness book as "owner of most expensive paperweight"

8. Math errors add zest to life

7. You need an alibi for the I.R.S.

6. You want to see what all the fuss is about

5. You've always wondered what it would be like to be a plaintiff

4. The "Intel Inside" logo matches your decor perfectly

3. You no longer have to worry about your cpu overheating

2. You got a great deal from JPL

and the #1 reason to buy a pentium machine:

1. It'll probably work