STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

MONEY MANAGEMENT:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.

HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MEMORIES:
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN:
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy...
- One is to let her think she is having her own way.
- The other is to let her have it.

LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MISTAKES:
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.

THE BATTLE:
A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.