9. You get a tattoo that reads "This body is best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."

8. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.

7. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on someone you love.

6. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop in your lap... and the baby in the overhead compartment.

5. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.

3. You start using smileys in your snail mail.

2. The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.

1. Your HD crashes. You haven't logged on in two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and dial your ISP's access no. Your try to hum to communicate with the modem. You succeed.