Two pirates are sitting in a seaside tavern, talking. One of them has a
hook instead of a hand, and an eye patch. The other pirate has a wooden
leg. Over a few beers, they start to tell each other how they received
their injuries.
"One day," says the first pirate, "we had pulled alongside a merchant
vessel and were boarding her. I had my sword drawn when suddenly a man
with a saber caught me by surprise and cut my hand off. So I had this hook
put on. How did you lose your leg?"
"From a broadside of grapeshot from an English military vessel, in a
terrific battle off the coast of France. And how about your eye?"
"Well, I don't really like to talk about it," said the first pirate.
"Come on," says the second pirate. "It doesn't matter after all these
years, does it?" "Oh, okay," says the first pirate. "See, it's pretty
embarrassing; a seagull shit in my eye." "A seagull!? I can see how that
would hurt, but I don't see why you would *lose* the eye..." "But," the
first pirate says, "it was my first day with the hook."
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