Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.

Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quattro sinko.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.

Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers

Q: What's the difference between two kinds of thermometers?
A: The taste.

Q:What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A: A dog that runs for help ... after it bites your leg off.

Q: What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
A: They're hiring.

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka.

Q. Did you hear about the new viagra eye drops?
A: They make you take a long hard look at yourself.

(Sent in by Jenny)

Q. What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A. A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes,"Damn." WHACK!

Q. What gets lighter as it bounces?
A. A Leper on a trampoline

Q. What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A. Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Q: What do you give a girl who has everything ?
A: A wide berth

Q: What do you get if you cross a birthday cake with a tin of baked beans?
A: A cake that blows the candles out by itself

Q: How can you tell if you're colour blind?
A: You put celery in the rhubarb pie

Q: What's grey and has a trunk
A: A mouse going on holiday