The Millennium Bug is a worldwide threat because many computers may be unable to distinguish between the years 2000 and 1900 -- since their codes represent those years as simply 00. Computers will then think it's 1900 and require people to ride bicycles with huge front wheels.

The Bug has proved a boon for authors to stir up panic and get on daytime talk shows. Maurice Juggarnaut, author of "The Millennium Bug Should Make You Wet Your Pants With Fear" said, "It's like the guy falling off a 100 story building and every floor he says, 'Hey, so far so good!'"

Meanwhile, anti-nuke groups in the US rejoiced at the Russian decision. Spokesperson Harmony Vybes said, "This is, like, I mean, you know? If the computer machine thinks it's 1900 instead of 2000, wow, I mean, see? There were no nukes in 1900 except maybe a few and so all the computers will, like, not even exist either. Also, like, even if the computers do still exist they'll be smart enough to know not to launch a warhead that hasn't even been invented yet!"